Wednesday, 22 October 2014

Doing the bise with a Frenchman

Doing the bise (a greeting kiss on each cheek) is somewhat of an artform for a French person. It comes in different shapes and sizes depending on the person and the relationship. It's not always easy to navigate the sometimes tricky terrain of the bise so it may be helpful to put a few pointers out there for anyone attempting to date a Frenchman.

Let's take four examples to illustrate what different kinds of bise with a Frenchman can mean.

1) The Friend Bise: an air bise
If you and a Frenchman do this kind of bise with each other, you are both in the friend zone. This bise can be difficult to break out of if you do it for too long.

2) The What Was That Bise: a bise with some contact
You may have been doing The Friend Bise with a Frenchman for a while. And all of a sudden, he does The What Was That Bise. In other words, his lips lightly graze your cheek on maybe not the first but the second cheek. This will leave you wondering if he did it by accident or on purpose. If you like to overanalyze things, you may well torture yourself with what it all means...

3) The Contact Bise: a bise that comes into contact on both cheeks
Here there will be no doubt. You did the bise with a Frenchman and his lips definitely came into contact with both cheeks. You may have progressed gently from The Friend Bise through to The What Was That Bise and finally The Contact Bise. Or you may have gone directly to The Contact Bise. In either case, The Contact Bise usually expresses a Frenchman's interest in you. This interest can be fleeting as it can be lasting. So which is it? Your guess is as good as anyone's.

4) The Lingering Bise: a bise that lasts longer
If you've experienced The Contact Bise with a Frenchman, there's a chance you'll quickly move on to The Lingering Bise. In which case, his interest in you is lasting and he is letting you know. Played out what this means is that as he goes in for the bise, his lips will plant themselves on each cheek for longer than a usual bise. You will be able to tell the difference because it will feel like slow motion. Also, where his lips land on each cheek will be in close proximity to your lips. At this point, you know he's interested and wants you to know he's interested.

Has anyone been confused by one of these bise? Or has anyone taken the choice of bise into their own hands before? I'd love to hear your stories.

Air Bises,

Datea x

Monday, 20 October 2014

A Frenchman and his planning skills

If you're new to this blog, you may be wondering why your Frenchman doesn't plan ahead and organize a proper date with you. Well, it's just because Frenchmen don't plan dates. They just happen. And they're not called dates btw. They're called get togethers.

So what does that mean? Basically:

- You'll get last minute phone calls to do something, like in 20 minutes
- You thought you guys were getting together that afternoon but he doesn't show up until the evening
- You thought you guys were going out for a drink just the 2 of you but 8 of his friends are there too
- He rings your doorbell without calling beforehand
- You're out for a walk with your Frenchman which turns into meeting his parents

No amount of saying that you prefer advance warning will make a difference. So quit while you're ahead because if you push your anglo sense of dating too much, he'll get annoyed. Instead, if you like your Frenchman, you'll have to roll with it. Like French women do. You don't always have to be available though. You can say you have plans already. Even if it's not strictly true. And by that I mean you're watching The Mentalist in your pjs and haven't washed your hair in 3 days. You just better cross your fingers he doesn't ring your doorbell!

Bises,

Datea x