Saturday, 25 October 2014

Annoying Frenchmen

This morning, I was walking down the street and this French guy comes out of his apartment block and practically walks into me. No, let me rephrase that, he took up the space that he presumed was rightfully his on the sidewalk and too bad that I was on it I guess. To add to this, he was wearing sunglasses (at 8am when it was still a bit dark) and earphones so he was oblivious to my tutting.

I made my way to the bus stop and what do you know, the same French guy reappears, and naturally he chooses to stand where I'm standing. And I mean literally. He comes to stand right in front of me, so close that I have to move out of the way. At that point, I wondered if I was invisible or something.

At one point, a girl in a shortish skirt and opaque tights makes her way to the bus stop and the French guy openly oggles her. She gives him a dirty look. I want to high five her but I keep my cool. 

When the bus comes, the French guy makes sure he's first on the bus, brushing past everyone else, even though he was one of the last people in the pseudo queue. Of course, he takes the last seat instead of offering it to the old lady next to him.

Very, very annoying. And very frustrating to feel like saying something is not an option. Give me a true gentleman anytime.

Bises,

Datea x 

Wednesday, 22 October 2014

Doing the bise with a Frenchman

Doing the bise (a greeting kiss on each cheek) is somewhat of an artform for a French person. It comes in different shapes and sizes depending on the person and the relationship. It's not always easy to navigate the sometimes tricky terrain of the bise so it may be helpful to put a few pointers out there for anyone attempting to date a Frenchman.

Let's take four examples to illustrate what different kinds of bise with a Frenchman can mean.

1) The Friend Bise: an air bise
If you and a Frenchman do this kind of bise with each other, you are both in the friend zone. This bise can be difficult to break out of if you do it for too long.

2) The What Was That Bise: a bise with some contact
You may have been doing The Friend Bise with a Frenchman for a while. And all of a sudden, he does The What Was That Bise. In other words, his lips lightly graze your cheek on maybe not the first but the second cheek. This will leave you wondering if he did it by accident or on purpose. If you like to overanalyze things, you may well torture yourself with what it all means...

3) The Contact Bise: a bise that comes into contact on both cheeks
Here there will be no doubt. You did the bise with a Frenchman and his lips definitely came into contact with both cheeks. You may have progressed gently from The Friend Bise through to The What Was That Bise and finally The Contact Bise. Or you may have gone directly to The Contact Bise. In either case, The Contact Bise usually expresses a Frenchman's interest in you. This interest can be fleeting as it can be lasting. So which is it? Your guess is as good as anyone's.

4) The Lingering Bise: a bise that lasts longer
If you've experienced The Contact Bise with a Frenchman, there's a chance you'll quickly move on to The Lingering Bise. In which case, his interest in you is lasting and he is letting you know. Played out what this means is that as he goes in for the bise, his lips will plant themselves on each cheek for longer than a usual bise. You will be able to tell the difference because it will feel like slow motion. Also, where his lips land on each cheek will be in close proximity to your lips. At this point, you know he's interested and wants you to know he's interested.

Has anyone been confused by one of these bise? Or has anyone taken the choice of bise into their own hands before? I'd love to hear your stories.

Air Bises,

Datea x