Monday, 18 August 2014

Being in a relationship with a Frenchman

Hello readers,

A few weeks ago, one of my readers posted a comment asking what it was like to be in a relationship with a Frenchman. Let me go into detail on that regarding balance, everyday life, commitment, plans for the future, how much time we spend together, etc.

My Frenchman and I have been in a fun, kind, loving relationship for 1 year and 4 months. I know it's not masses of time but I think it's a good enough amount of time to be used as a sort of example for the purposes of this blog. So, here goes.

We live together so we obviously spend most of our time together. That said, we do do things separately like drinks with friends, going for a jog, running errands, regular stuff. But I'd say we spend the majority of our free time together. On that front, we are on the same page. We spend time together because we want to, because we're wired that way, because we like each other's company and because it's just natural. There's no forcing, no whining, it just happens that way, which makes the both of us very, very happy.

In terms of everyday life, my Frenchman makes things easy. Personality-wise, he's even-tempered, always in a good mood and often goofy. Basically, he balances me out, or brings out the best in me. I truly believe that some matches are totally off, they just can't be forced, while others fall into place the way they should.

As for commitment, it was something we talked about fairly early in our relationship. We're both not only committed to each other but being there for each other. More important than the words being said, signs of commitment are beautiful. I went through some health issues a few months ago and my Frenchman was there for me so much it brings tears to my eyes as I type this.

And lastly, plans for the future are part of our relationship. There's no begging for him to take days off, there's no convincing him to do anything. On the contrary, he wants to go on vacation, he wants to make plans like buying a house, having a family, etc. It feels like a natural progression to our relationship. A healthy relationship that isn't standing still in time but moving forward and gaining momentum.

All in all, I would say that a successful relationship with a (French)man is about being a good match, being on the same wavelength, wanting similar things out of life, operating at similar rhythms. Now, that doesn't mean that you have to be identical. On the contrary, as people say, opposites can attract. It more means that you fit. It's that simple. Of course, it would be wonderful if you had just a handful of jigsaw pieces to choose from before you got to the right match. But in the real world, it's more about trial and error and rifling through a 1000-piece puzzle :) Sometimes the right guy comes along much sooner. For others, it's later. But it's well worth the wait.

Bises,

Datea x

Thursday, 7 August 2014

Frenchmen and sex on first dates

In my analytics, this search comes up time and time again: Frenchmen and sex on first dates.

Okay, I'll go through this one more time for new readers.

If you're on a first date with a Frenchman, his goal may well be to have sex with you. On the first date. Let's say because he likes you and wants to express this physically and... well, all right, because he's horny.

However, you don't have to have sex with him. Just because he bought you a nice dinner and whispered poetry in your ear, doesn't mean you have to take things to the bedroom.

Oh really? Well, yes. He may make you swoon but you can wait a little. To build anticipation and hook him. But also to protect your heart.

If you want to throw caution to the wind, sure go ahead and sleep with the guy. But he may not call you afterwards. This could be because:

a) he wasn't that interested, he just wanted sex
b) he's not after a relationship
c) the sex wasn't good
d) you didn't send the right message by sleeping with him on the first date (this last one is a mind boggler, I know)

Now, if you can take the possibility of rejection, I would say go for it if you're just as horny as him. But if you're a wee bit sensitive and you're looking for a relationship, then take the slow train to sex. Hey, that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the ride there...

Bises,

Datea x